Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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