i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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