Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize