I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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