All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize