Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.

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(508): I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo. http://tfl.nu/92km

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(904): View more from Florida

someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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(904): someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude. http://tfl.nu/xhi6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

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(717): took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college. http://tfl.nu/bhs0

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(501): View more from Arkansas

All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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(501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk

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(916): View more from California

Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?

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(916): Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party? http://tfl.nu/ft10

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(616): View more from Michigan

We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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(616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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(507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7

Replies (9) Good night (848) Bad night (2561)
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(313): View more from Michigan

The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

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(313): The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her. http://tfl.nu/8p27

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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(928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85

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(305): View more from Florida

You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.

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(305): You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican. http://tfl.nu/uy37

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(503): View more from Oregon

Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

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(503): Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement. http://tfl.nu/wyat

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(716): View more from New York

just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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(716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86

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(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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(607): Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy. (426): So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee. http://tfl.nu/cx81

Replies (12) Good night (2977) Bad night (376)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.

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(617): Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane. http://tfl.nu/ph9r

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.

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(+44): He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar. http://tfl.nu/zoch

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