Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Randomize
Follow @tfln