So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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