Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize