THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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