There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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