i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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