Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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