I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
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Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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