Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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