dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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