So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
where are my eyebrows?
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