woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We were destined to go to rehab together
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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