I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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