I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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