just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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