Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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