i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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