I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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