does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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