There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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