pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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