They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize