omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize