I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize