Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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