this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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