Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize