I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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