He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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