My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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