is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize