I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize