I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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