Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady

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  (212): we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady http://tfl.nu/of3l
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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  (740): i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina http://tfl.nu/02ir
  Replies (35) Good night (618) Bad night (4566) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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  (250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw
  Replies (16) Good night (3313) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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  (585): she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over http://tfl.nu/tk3t
  Replies (13) Good night (9729) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (44) Good night (10206) Bad night (1667) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.

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  (904): Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up. http://tfl.nu/49qf
  Replies (5) Good night (4173) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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  (734): I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel. http://tfl.nu/6ex0
  Replies (8) Good night (818) Bad night (1812) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (8) Good night (3099) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.

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  (907): Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender. http://tfl.nu/w5e6
  Replies (10) Good night (1033) Bad night (1672)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2163) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT

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  (406): Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT http://tfl.nu/rebq
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  It's called being normal.

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  (660): I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals. (417): It's called being normal. http://tfl.nu/c2qe
  Replies (9) Good night (1262) Bad night (393)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook

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  (585): Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook http://tfl.nu/4sfp
  Replies (6) Good night (1322) Bad night (313)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

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  (334): FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon http://tfl.nu/se3x
  Replies (9) Good night (1906) Bad night (235)
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  (523): View more from

  I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower

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  (523): I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower http://tfl.nu/3y30
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt

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