my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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