Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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