hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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