the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize