At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he was CRYING into my vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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