I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize