i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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