For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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