i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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