i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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