had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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